One of the most important lessons I’ve learned about relationships is this: Be direct and honest about what you need from someone.
Many people suppress their desires, act like they don’t need anything, or remain vague about their expectations—often out of fear of rejection or conflict. But the reality is that relationships thrive on open and honest communication, not on avoidance. While some people may struggle with or even walk away from hard conversations, the ones who truly matter will stay.
Too often, people avoid uncomfortable conversations to “keep the peace.” But peace, in and of itself, is not the ultimate goal of a relationship—love is. And real love requires hard conversations.
The alternative to honest communication is resentment, and resentment is one of the biggest silent killers of relationships. When we suppress our feelings, fail to express our needs, and tolerate unresolved frustrations, bitterness grows. Over time, what could have been resolved with a sincere discussion turns into emotional distance and, eventually, separation.
The Bible emphasizes the importance of honesty in relationships:
“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” — Ephesians 4:15
This verse reminds us that truth must always be communicated with love. Honesty should never be a weapon used to attack, but a tool to build and strengthen the relationship. Love without truth leads to superficiality, and truth without love leads to cruelty. A healthy relationship requires both.
Jesus Himself was direct in His communication, yet He always spoke with compassion. He didn’t shy away from difficult conversations, whether with His disciples, religious leaders, or those who followed Him. He set the perfect example of balancing truth with love.
Many people assume that the “right person” is someone who will always agree with them, make them feel validated, and never challenge them. But this is a dangerous misconception.
The right person isn’t the one who agrees with you all the time.
It’s the one with whom you can navigate your differences with kindness, empathy, and abundant communication.
A mature, healthy relationship is built on the ability to work through disagreements, not avoid them. The way two people handle conflict is far more important than how much they have in common.
One of my favorite books of the Bible is Ruth. It is not only beautiful story but Ruth and Boaz is also a great example of emotional maturity in relationships. Ruth, a Moabite widow, courageously expresses her needs when she seeks protection and provision from Boaz (Ruth 3:9). Boaz, a man of integrity, responds with kindness and understanding. Instead of ignoring her or making assumptions, he clearly communicates his willingness to care for her while also following the proper cultural and legal process (Ruth 4).
This story highlights an essential truth: Healthy relationships require clear communication, honesty, and mutual respect.
Being direct and honest is not just about stating facts—it’s about being vulnerable. Vulnerability is the willingness to open up about your needs, fears, and emotions, even when it feels uncomfortable.
Many people pretend everything is fine when it’s not. They hide their true feelings, fearing they’ll be seen as weak or needy. But vulnerability is not weakness—it’s strength. It takes courage to be real.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
Deep love cannot exist without vulnerability. To truly love and be loved, we must be willing to open our hearts, even at the risk of being hurt.
Many of our struggles with communication come from what we witnessed in our families growing up. We subconsciously repeat patterns from our parents, whether that means avoiding confrontation, shutting down emotionally, or reacting in anger.
However, we have a choice:
This requires emotional maturity. It means recognizing when we’re falling into old habits and choosing a different, healthier response. Instead of shutting down, we can choose to speak up. Instead of reacting in anger, we can choose to listen with understanding. Instead of assuming, we can choose to ask and clarify.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
If we want our relationships to thrive, we must communicate and never hold back what’s important to us. Here’s how:
Don’t assume your partner knows what you need. Express your thoughts, desires, and concerns clearly.
Example: Instead of saying, “I wish you were more present,” try saying, “I feel most connected to you when we spend uninterrupted time together. Can we set aside time each day just for us?”
Even when bringing up a concern, make sure your words are filled with grace. Avoid blaming or accusing.
Example: Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try, “I feel unheard when I share my feelings. Can we work on that together?”
Many people listen just to formulate their next argument. Instead, seek to understand your partner’s perspective first.
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
Address issues as they arise instead of bottling them up. Problems don’t disappear just because they are ignored.
Example: If something bothers you, bring it up kindly but promptly instead of letting resentment build over time.
Not every disagreement needs a winner. Love often requires meeting in the middle.
“Do to others as you would have them do to you.”
Inviting God into your relationship strengthens the foundation. Praying together fosters unity and helps both partners align their hearts with God’s will.
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
Healthy relationships are not built on avoiding hard conversations but on navigating them with love, honesty, and grace.
The best relationships aren’t those without conflict but those where conflict is handled with kindness, understanding, and abundant communication.
So be brave. Speak up. Love deeply. Communicate openly. And trust that the right person—the one meant to walk alongside you—will stay.
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This blog and podcast are a reflection of my journey as a follower of Christ, a disabled combat veteran, and a lifelong seeker of personal growth, faith, and resilience. Through radical honesty and authentic conversations, I share my struggles, victories, and lessons learned in overcoming fear, trust issues, and self-doubt. My mission is to inspire, encourage, and empower others to live with faith, purpose, and intention—embracing challenges, breaking strongholds, and pursuing the life God has called us to live.
