' Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies [dedicating all of yourselves, set apart] as a living sacrifice, holy and well-pleasing to God, which is your rational (logical, intelligent) act of worship. And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you]. '
Introduction
Living Surrendered
We’re already surrendering. The only question is what we’re surrendering to.
When life gets uncertain, most of us don’t make a thoughtful decision. We reach for a reflex. We go armored, frozen, divided, avoidant, performative, controlling, anxious, or resigned. The strategy depends on our story, our wiring, and what hurt us. Most coping strategies are learned, become familiar, and slowly turn into our go-to reflex. It can even feel like wisdom because it has kept us from pain.
But that reflex is also revealing something. Because surrender is not just what we say in prayer. Surrender is what we do under pressure.
It’s easy to say “I surrender to God” when life is stable or when we’re having a good week. The real question is who, or what, receives our surrender when we are tired, triggered, alone, or afraid.
Scripture doesn’t offer this as a motivational line. It offers it as a way of living:
“Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways acknowledge and recognize Him, and He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].”
Throughout this Heart Posture series, we’ve named what the heart does when it’s protecting itself. Now we’re naming the posture underneath them all: the surrendered heart.
This is a longer capstone on purpose. Don’t rush it. Bookmark it if you need to, and come back with an unhurried mind. The goal isn’t to finish fast. The goal is to recognize what’s leading you, and return leadership to God.
Quick Navigation:
- What Surrender Actually Is: A Clean Definition
- How Surrender Is Relearned: Small Repeated Returns
- What Surrender Is Not: What We Are Not Surrendering To
- Attachment Lens: How Surrender Protects Connection
- The Posture Map: What's Leading You Under Pressure
- How It Shows Up: With God, Yourself, and Others
- How to Tell What You’re Surrendering To: An Honest Self Assessment
- The Turn: The Three Releases of a Surrendered Heart
- Anchored Practice: Present & Release
- Anchored Breathwork: Release Breathing: 4–6 for Letting Go
- Anchored Prayer
- Take It To Heart: Anchored Journal Prompts
- Scripture References: For Study and Meditation
- Methods & Sources: Biblical & Clinical
- Clinical Terms for Further Study (non-diagnostic)
Key Takeaway
We surrender our heart to God and God alone, not to circumstances, not to coping strategies, and not to the voice of our wounds. A surrendered heart yields the leadership of our life to the Father, even when we don’t get certainty, control, or a clean timeline.
A surrendered heart means:
- God sets the direction, not our fear.
- Obedience is our responsibility, outcomes are God’s.
- We tell the truth about what we want and feel, then submit it to God.
- We keep our discernment and boundaries, because surrender is not enabling.
- We stop bargaining with God and start trusting His character.
- We take the next right step instead of trying to solve the entire future.
What Surrender Actually Is
A Clean Definition
Before we go any deeper, we’ve got to get on the same page about what surrender actually means. A lot of people hear the word and immediately picture something passive, weak, or defeated. Others hear it and think it means accepting whatever happens as “God’s will,” even when what’s happening is clearly harmful or unjust.
That’s not what we’re talking about.
Surrender is the intentional yielding of our will to God’s will.
It’s choosing God’s leadership over our own reflex, our own fear, and our own need to control the outcome.
Surrender isn’t giving up on life. It’s giving over the throne.
It’s saying, “God, You’re Lord. I’m not.”
Surrender is relational, not philosophical
Biblical surrender isn’t surrender to an idea. It’s surrender to a Person.
You’re not bowing to circumstances. You’re not bowing to uncertainty. You’re not bowing to someone else’s dysfunction. You’re bowing to the Father who is good, wise, and present.
Most of the time, surrender isn’t about what’s happening around us. It’s about who we’re agreeing with on the inside.
Surrender has two movements
- Honest desire brought to God Honest means no pretending or performing. We don’t sanitize our prayers. We tell the truth about what we want, what we fear, and what we’re carrying.
- Yielded will to God Then we release the demand that our way must happen, and we choose to trust Him and obey Him.
Jesus gives us the clearest picture of this in Gethsemane (Luke 22:42):
- “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me…”
- “…yet not My will, but Yours be done.”
He names the desire honestly. Then He yields the outcome. That’s a surrendered heart.
Surrender is not the same as passivity
Surrender doesn’t mean we stop moving. It means we stop striving to control what only God can control.
A surrendered heart still moves. It still obeys. It still makes wise decisions. It still tells the truth. It still sets boundaries. It still asks for help. It still takes responsibility.
But it stops trying to be the savior.
Surrender is releasing outcomes, not responsibilities
- We’re responsible for obedience.
- Outcomes belong to God.
That one line clears up a lot of spiritual confusion fast, because it separates faithfulness from control.
Quick self-check
- Am I obeying God, or am I trying to manage people?
- Am I taking a faithful next step, or am I demanding a guaranteed result?
- Am I trusting God’s character, or am I trying to remove all uncertainty first?
Clinical Note: Under stress, our nervous system often shifts into autonomic arousal, moving toward sympathetic activation (fight/flight) or dorsal vagal shutdown (collapse), sometimes with a freeze or tonic immobility blend. In these states, attentional scope narrows and urgency bias increases, so we reach for what is familiar, not what is faithful. Surrender becomes more available as we practice top-down regulation and strengthen inhibitory control, restoring capacity for flexible, values-based obedience instead of reflex.
How the Surrendered Heart Is Relearned
Practicing Small Releases Instead of Big Declarations
Most of us weren’t taught surrender as a lived posture. We were taught surrender as a phrase. Something we say when we’re desperate, or a concept we agree with on Sunday, then forget when we get triggered on Tuesday.
But in Scripture, surrender is normal. It’s daily and relational. It’s what it looks like to live under a new Lord. And if our default has been control, avoidance, performance, or shutdown for years, we are not going to “solve” surrender with one emotional prayer. We relearn it through repeated returns, in the exact places our instincts want to grip.
That’s why Romans 12 does not read like a one-time event. It reads like a daily offering. Presenting our whole self, again and again, as worship. Those small offerings retrain the heart.
Practically, relearning surrender looks like this:
- Awareness: We notice the reflex before it drives the decision.
- Honesty: We name what we want, what we fear, and what we are trying to control.
- Regulation: We settle the body enough to choose, not just react.
- Alignment: We take the next right step of obedience.
- Release: We let go of outcome, timing, and the demand for full understanding.
- Repetition: We return again next time. That is how the posture forms.
Surrender becomes stable when it becomes familiar, and it becomes familiar through repetition.
What Surrender Is Not
What We Are Not Surrendering To
Let’s be blunt, because this is where surrender can get twisted.
Biblical surrender is not bowing to circumstances as if they’re sovereign. It’s not accepting harm as fate. It’s not staying silent while sin and dysfunction run the room. It’s not calling passivity “faith” just because we’re tired.
We do not surrender to:
- circumstances (as if life is in charge)
- chaos (as if disorder gets the final word)
- fear (as if anxiety is a reliable compass)
- pressure (as if urgency automatically means God is leading)
- other people’s dysfunction (as if their emotions are our assignment)
- manipulation or control (as if guilt is God’s voice)
- abuse (as if enduring harm is holiness)
- our wound story (as if what happened to us gets to define us)
Healthy surrender is yielding to God’s leadership while facing reality with wisdom.
So sometimes surrender looks like waiting. Sometimes it looks like speaking. Sometimes it looks like leaving. Sometimes it looks like setting the boundary we’ve delayed for years.
If we’re wondering whether we’re surrendering to God or surrendering to pressure, here’s a quick test:
- Surrender to God tends to produce clarity, humility, and values-based obedience.
- Surrender to anything else tends to produce reactivity, compulsion, and fear-based decisions.
Important: If we’ve been taught that surrender means “stop having boundaries,” we weren’t taught surrender. We were taught compliance.
Spiritual Application: Conviction draws us toward God with truth and repentance. Condemnation and coercion push us toward hiding, striving, or quitting. God leads in truth, not in manipulation or shame. If what we are calling “surrender” is producing shame, passivity, or loss of agency, we can pause and ask, “Am I yielding to God, or am I yielding to fear, pressure, or someone else’s control?” (See Romans 8:1; 2 Corinthians 7:9–10.)
Now let’s get honest about why surrender can feel so hard in real relationships.
Attachment Lens
How Surrender Protects Connection
Surrender is allowing God to lead. It’s choosing obedience over reflex, especially in relationships where our nervous system wants to take over.
When relationships have been inconsistent, the heart learns to protect connection through control, withdrawal, performance, or shutdown. Those strategies are trying to prevent rupture, prevent disappointment, and prevent the familiar pain of being unseen or unsafe.
Surrender doesn’t pretend those risks don’t exist. It just refuses to let fear lead.
That’s why surrender doesn’t always look calm. Sometimes obedience looks like staying present when we want to disappear. Sometimes it looks like telling the truth without controlling the response. Sometimes it looks like waiting without spiraling. Sometimes it looks like setting a boundary we have delayed for years.
Common attachment expressions when surrender gets tested
- Anxious patterns struggle to release outcomes when uncertainty feels threatening, so the reflex reaches for reassurance, urgency, and resolution now.
- Avoidant patterns struggle to release self-reliance when dependence feels unsafe, so the reflex reaches for distance, downplaying needs, and private coping.
- Fearful-avoidant patterns often swing between anxious and avoidant strategies, shifting between pursuit and shutdown depending on what feels most dangerous in the moment.
- Secure patterns can tolerate uncertainty without control or withdrawal, communicate directly, set boundaries without punishment, and return to repair without coercion.
Movement Toward Secure
Movement toward secure does not start with trying harder. It starts with releasing the need to protect connection through control or withdrawal.
Practically, this can look like:
- Naming the urge to chase certainty, without obeying it.
- Staying present long enough to speak one honest sentence.
- Asking for clarity instead of forcing reassurance.
- Setting a boundary instead of managing someone else’s emotions.
- Letting God lead in one specific area instead of demanding the whole plan.
Attachment Note: These reflexes often started as protection. They may have helped us survive then, but they can limit intimacy now by replacing attunement and repair with either pressure or distance.
Spiritual Application: Surrender does not shame the old strategy. It redeems us out of it. It teaches our heart that safety is not found in control, withdrawal, or performance. Safety is found in God’s presence and leadership, where we can obey with open hands and stay connected without trying to manage outcomes.
The Posture Map:
What’s Leading You Under Pressure
This isn’t here to label you. It’s here to help you notice what takes the lead when you’re tired, triggered, alone, or afraid, so you can return leadership to God.
| Posture | Insecure Pattern | Surrendered (secure) | Wound Lie | God’s Truth |
| Armored | Tight control, overplanning, overfunctioning, needing guarantees | Do what is yours today; release the outcome to God | “If I don’t manage it, I won’t be safe.” | Proverbs 3:5–6 |
| Frozen | Numbing, withdrawing, procrastinating, “I don’t care” posture | Stay present; take one small step; let God meet you in it | “If I feel this, I will break.” | Psalm 46:1 |
| Divided | Saying “I trust God,” but living like it all depends on you | Choose one clear act of trust and alignment today | “God might not come through, so I have to.” | Proverbs 3:5–6 |
| Honest | Hiding, minimizing, spiritual masking, avoiding hard truths | Tell the truth to God, then to one safe person | “If I am honest, I will be rejected.” | Psalm 51:6 |
| Repentant | Conviction stuck in shame, delay, or self-punishment | Turn quickly; repair what is yours; receive mercy and walk forward | “If I admit it, I am condemned.” | 1 John 1:9 |
| Surrendered | Resignation, passivity, spiritual shutdown, yielding to fear | Yield your will to God; obey without bargaining; release timeline and outcome | “I have no agency, so I’ll stop trying.” | Romans 12:1; Luke 22:42 |
This map helps you name your pattern. Next, let’s make it personal:
How This Posture Shows Up
With God, With Yourself, With Others
With God
Surrendering the Need to Manage Him
A surrendered heart stops trying to control God through deals, bargaining, or spiritual performance. It stops living like prayer is a lever.
Surrender sounds like this: “Abba, I trust Your heart even when I do not understand Your timing. Lead me in what is true, and strengthen me to obey.”
Clinical Note: When outcomes feel uncertain, many of us shift into threat-based coping and try to restore predictability through cognitive control. Clinically, this can show up as hypervigilance, rumination, and reassurance-seeking, reinforced through short-term anxiety reduction (negative reinforcement). Over time, the system learns, “If I control enough, I will be safe,” and anxiety stays high.
Spiritual Application: Surrender is the return from managing God to relating with Him. We stop bracing and bring our real fears into His presence. We trust His heart even when we don’t understand His timing, and we choose obedience over control. (Proverbs 3:5–6.)
With Yourself
Ending Self-Rule Without Self-Hate
A surrendered heart is honest about what’s driving us without collapsing into shame. It doesn’t excuse sin or punish us for being human. It tells the truth, and it returns leadership to God. It sounds like:- “I’ve been gripping because I’m afraid.”
- “I’ve been avoiding because I don’t want to feel.”
- “I’ve been performing because I want certainty and approval.”
Clinical Note: Healthy surrender increases internal coherence, reducing fragmentation between beliefs, emotions, and behavior. As defenses like minimization, rationalization, and avoidance loosen, self-awareness increases and values-based decision-making becomes more available. Shame-driven shutdown often decreases as accountability becomes more tolerable.
Spiritual Application: Surrender isn’t self-hate. It’s truth with God. When we stop defending what is draining us, we can receive His correction without collapse and His mercy without excuses. (Psalm 51:6; 1 John 1:9.)
With Others
- “I can be honest without forcing a response.”
- “I can set a boundary without punishing.”
- “I can pursue repair without chasing you into change.”
Clinical Note: Relational control is often responsibility inflation, taking excessive responsibility for another person’s emotions, choices, or outcomes. That stance increases monitoring, fixing, persuading, and appeasement, which can temporarily reduce anxiety while reinforcing the belief that stability depends on our management.
Spiritual Application: Surrender doesn’t make us a doormat. It makes us steady. We can tell the truth, keep our boundaries, and still stay submitted to God because our safety isn’t dependent on someone else’s reaction. We love without control, and we pursue peace without violating wisdom. (Ephesians 4:15; Romans 12:18.)
How to Tell What You’re Surrendering To
An Honest Self Assessment
We can say we’ve surrendered to God and still be surrendered to something else in the moments that actually shape our life: when we’re pressured, disappointed, lonely, misunderstood, or triggered, to name a few. Our reflex reveals what we’re treating as lord in that moment.
So how do we tell who or what we are actually surrendering to?
1) Follow your default under pressure
- Do I grip and start managing everything?
- Do I vanish and go quiet?
- Do I perform and try to earn peace through effort?
- Do I fight to regain control?
- Do I freeze and shut down?
My default isn’t my identity, but it is a signal. It shows what my system trusts to keep me safe. If I can name it without defending it, I can return leadership to God without pretending.
2) Notice what you reach for first
When I feel uneasy, what do I reach for instinctively?
- reassurance
- certainty
- a plan
- distraction
- control of a person or a situation
- validation
- numbing
- scrolling
- work
- withdrawal
- anger
- fantasy
3) Listen for the “must” language
- “I have to fix this.”
- “I can’t let them be upset.”
- “I can’t be seen like this.”
- “I can’t feel this.”
- “I have to know what’s going to happen.”
- “If I don’t take control, it’ll fall apart.”
That “must” language usually points to a ruler. Something is demanding my obedience.
4) Check the fruit it produces
This one’s simple, and brutal.
When I’m surrendered to God, my life tends to produce the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23):
- love
- joy
- peace
- patience
- kindness
- goodness
- faithfulness
- gentleness
- self-control
When I’m surrendered to fear, wounds, or strategy, my life tends to produce:
- anxiety
- compulsion
- reactivity
- avoidance
- rigidity
- either control or collapse
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about direction.
Clinical Note: Under stress, our system defaults to rehearsed protective patterns and safety behaviors because they reduce distress quickly. Regulation restores enough capacity to choose values-based responses instead of reflexive threat responses.
Spiritual Application: Jesus taught that fruit reveals what is true (Matthew 7:16–20, AMP). In context, He’s warning about false voices and false guidance, and He gives a simple test: look at what the life produces. That principle applies here too. If what we are calling “surrender” is producing fear, confusion, shame, passivity, or coercion, something’s off. We do not need to shame ourselves. We tell the truth and return to God. He’s not asking for performance. He’s inviting us back to trust.
A quick personal audit
- When I’m stressed, I usually become __________.
- The thing I’m trying to prevent is __________.
- The thing I’m trying to secure is __________.
- The thing I’m afraid God won’t do is __________.
- The next right step I’m avoiding is __________.
That’s not a condemnation list. It’s a clarity list. And here’s what changes when we surrender to God: we stop demanding that relationships carry what only God can carry.
The Turn
The Three Releases of a Surrendered Heart
Once we can name what’s leading us, surrender stops being vague. It becomes practical. And it becomes relational fast, because whatever is leading our heart will shape how we show up with God and with people.
In real life, surrender usually shows up as three releases. These are the places we tighten our grip because these are the places we want certainty most.
Release the Outcome
This is the first release because it’s the one that exposes who’s really in charge. We’re responsible for obedience. We’re not responsible for the results.
Do what’s yours:
- Tell the Truth
- Make the call
- Have the Conversation
- Set the Boundary
- Apologize
- Follow Through
- Show Up
- Stop Hiding
Then release what isn’t yours:
- Their Reaction
- Their Repentance or Change
- Their Approval
- Whether You are Understood
- The Final Result
Relational impact: When we won’t release outcomes, relationships become a control project. We start managing tone, timing, reactions, and results. That can look like pressure, overexplaining, people pleasing, defensiveness, or shutting down. Releasing the outcome is what lets us be honest without being controlling, and firm without being harsh. We can do what’s right and let the other person be responsible for their side.
Release the Timeline
Relational impact: When we demand speed, we usually lose love. We push for resolution before there’s safety, force clarity before there’s honesty, and demand change before there’s ownership. Releasing the timeline helps us stay steady, keep boundaries, and pursue repair without coercion. It also keeps us from chasing people who aren’t ready, or getting stuck waiting for someone to become who they’re not choosing to be.
Release the Need to Understand Everything
This is where surrender becomes worship. We can trust God’s heart while we’re still confused about His ways.
Surrender doesn’t require us to stop asking questions. It requires us to stop using unanswered questions as an excuse to withhold obedience.
Sometimes the clearest act of surrender is this: we do the next right thing even when we don’t have the full explanation.
Relational impact: Needing full understanding can turn into interrogation, rumination, and endless processing. We keep circling the same conversation because our heart is trying to get certainty before it will risk trust. Releasing the demand to understand everything doesn’t mean we ignore red flags. It means we stop demanding perfect clarity as the price of peace. We choose truth, we choose wisdom, and we stay anchored to God even while a relationship is still unfolding.
Spiritual Application: Jesus’ prayer in Gethsemane wasn’t theoretical. He named what He wanted, and then He yielded what He wanted: “Yet not My will, but Yours be done.” (Luke 22:42, AMP). That is the pattern: honest desire, yielded will, obedient next step.
Anchored Practice
Present and Release
Purpose: Practice surrender as worship through one concrete offering each day.
Step 1: Present yourself to God.
Pray Romans 12:1 in your own words. If you don’t know where to start, try this:
“Abba, by Your mercy, I present myself to You today. My body, my choices, my time, my relationships, my reactions. I belong to You.”
Step 2: Name today’s clutch point.
Write one sentence: “Today I am most tempted to control, avoid, or perform in __________.”
Step 3: Choose one surrendered action.
Pick one and do it today:
- Have the conversation you have been avoiding, with humility and clarity.
- Set one boundary you know you need.
- Obey in one area you have delayed.
- Release one outcome you have been trying to manage.
- Ask for help instead of overfunctioning.
Step 4: Release the rest.
Choose one relational action and take it without trying to control the outcome:
- repair what’s yours
- set a boundary
- speak one honest sentence
Then say out loud:
“Lord, I release the outcome. I release the timeline. I release my demand to understand. Your will be done.”
Step 5: Close with gratitude.
Write one sentence: “God carried me today by __________.”
Anchored Breathwork
Release Breathing: 4–6 for Letting Go
Purpose: Calm the body and practice release in God’s presence.
Note: If you feel activated, start with inhale 3, exhale 5 for 3–5 cycles, then move into 4–6.
Set Your Intention: “Jesus, I yield to You.”
Posture: Feet grounded, shoulders relaxed, jaw unclenched.
Practice:
- Inhale through your nose for a count of 4
- Exhale through your mouth for a count of 6
- Cue on the exhale: “I release this to You.”
Duration: 2–4 minutes, 8–12 cycles.
Pro Tip: Shorten the counts if needed. Regulation is the goal.
Anchored Prayer
Abba,
I bring You what’s real. I bring You what I want, what I fear, and what I can’t control.
I refuse to surrender to chaos, to pressure, to manipulation, or to my own coping strategies. I surrender to You.
Teach me obedience without bargaining. Teach me trust without needing a guarantee. Teach me how to take my next step with open hands.
I present myself to You today as worship. Not my will, but Yours be done.
Hallelujah. Amen.
Take It To Heart
Taking time to reflect is one of the most powerful tools for spiritual growth and self-awareness. These journal prompts are designed to help you pause, process, and partner with God in the places He’s refining you. Don’t rush the answers—let the Holy Spirit guide your thoughts. As you write, ask God to reveal what’s beneath the surface and align your heart more fully with His truth and design.
- Where am I currently surrendering to a strategy instead of surrendering to God?
- What outcome am I trying to control, and what would release look like this week?
- What boundary, conversation, or act of obedience is God putting in front of me right now?
- What would it look like to trust God’s heart even if I don't understand His timing?
Scripture References
For Study and Meditation
Primary Anchors:
- Romans 12:1–2 [ A Life Offered ]
- Luke 22:39–46
Posture Support:
- Proverbs 3:5–6 [ Trust With All Your Heart ]
- Psalm 46:1
- 1 Peter 5:6–7
Relational Fruit and Discernment:
- Matthew 7:16–20
- John 13:35
Identity and Formation:
- Ephesians 2:8–10 [ His Workmanship]
- Philippians 1:6
- Galatians 5:22–23
Further Study:
- Psalm 51:6
- 1 John 1:9
Methods and Sources
Biblical Approach
This reflection is rooted in Scripture’s call to surrender as worship and relational trust, not resignation. Romans frames surrender as a daily offering, presenting our whole self to God as a living sacrifice. Proverbs calls for wholehearted trust that refuses self-rule and leans into God’s leadership. In Gethsemane, Jesus models surrender with honesty and obedience: He names His desire and yields His will to the Father. Across these passages, surrender is not surrender to circumstances. It is surrender to God’s lordship, expressed through obedience, humility, and open-handed trust that releases outcomes, timing, and the demand for full understanding.
Clinical Approach
Clinical insights draw from nervous system regulation frameworks that explain how people default to protective survival responses under stress (fight, flight, freeze, fawn). These states often generate “safety behaviors” such as overcontrolling, avoiding, appeasing, or shutting down, which can reduce distress short term while reinforcing fear-based beliefs long term. This reflection also uses attachment theory to explain how those strategies can function as attempts to preserve proximity, safety, and predictability in relationships. The goal is never to shame protective patterns, but to help readers name them clearly, practice regulation, and build capacity for values-based action and relational repair. All clinical insight serves Scripture by explaining why surrender can feel threatening to the body, and how repeated, embodied returns to God can re-form both heart posture and relational presence.
Clinical Terms for Further Study
For Learning and Practice (non-diagnostic)
Note: These are learning terms, not diagnoses. They’re here to help us name what’s happening in the body and relationships so we can respond with wisdom and worship.
These terms describe common nervous system and behavior mechanisms referenced in this article.
Primary Concepts:
- Autonomic nervous system (ANS)
- Autonomic arousal
- Neuroplasticity
- Window of tolerance
State Shifts Under Stress:
- Sympathetic activation (fight or flight)
- Dorsal vagal shutdown (freeze, collapse)
- Ventral vagal regulation (social safety, connection)
Regulation and Choice:
- Top-down regulation
- Bottom-up regulation
- Inhibitory control
- Prefrontal integration
Pattern Reinforcement:
- Safety behaviors
- Negative reinforcement
- Urgency bias
- Attentional narrowing (narrowed attentional scope)
Attachment and Relational Dynamics:
- Attachment strategies (protest behavior, deactivation)
- Hyperactivation and deactivation
- Attunement and repair
- Responsibility inflation
