Mel Robbins delivers a straight-shooting message in The Let Them Theory, a book that speaks directly to those of us who’ve exhausted ourselves trying to manage other people’s behavior, emotions, or choices. The core idea she presents is deceptively simple: if someone wants to leave, criticize, pull away, or misunderstand you—let them.

At first glance, it’s a mindset shift aimed at peace. But dig a little deeper, and you’ll find it’s also a call to release. Release the need to explain. Release the pressure to perform. Release the false responsibility we’ve taken on to control things we were never meant to carry. And that’s what makes this book hit home for so many people stuck in cycles of people-pleasing, over-functioning, and chronic anxiety in relationships.

Robbins doesn’t dress it up. She’s blunt and practical. Her delivery is more coach than counselor, more fire-starter than hand-holder. And in many ways, that’s refreshing. In a culture obsessed with over-analyzing and over-explaining, The Let Them Theory offers a hard stop. A boundary. A necessary pause. And for many readers, that alone will feel like freedom.

The Power in Letting Go — But What’s Missing?

That message is liberating. But as someone who walks in faith, I couldn’t help but feel the spiritual gap. There’s wisdom here, but it stops short of something deeper—something eternal.

Letting people go isn’t just about reclaiming your energy or emotional peace. In the Kingdom of God, letting go is an act of trust. It’s not detachment for the sake of self-protection—it’s surrender for the sake of obedience.

Letting them doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you’re no longer trying to be God in someone else’s life. And there’s a big difference between setting healthy boundaries and building emotional walls. One is rooted in wisdom. The other is rooted in fear.

Where The Let Them Theory falls short is in acknowledging that some relationships, especially covenant ones, require endurance. They require spiritual discernment—not just emotional detachment. Sometimes the most courageous thing you can do isn’t to walk away… it’s to stay spiritually present while surrendering the outcome to God. That’s a different kind of “letting them.” One that says, I’ll love you, but I won’t chase you. I’ll stay aligned with truth, even if you don’t choose it.

Letting Go vs. Giving Up

Mel’s message, while timely and helpful, rides close to the edge of disengagement. If misunderstood, it could easily become a defense mechanism. A way to justify emotional cutoff or a hardening of the heart. But that’s not the goal of healthy boundaries. That’s not what God teaches.

Scripture calls us to “speak the truth in love” (EPHESIANS 4:15), not to ghost or shut down. Sometimes we’re called to wait. Other times, to walk away. But always, we’re called to trust God with the outcome—not just use detachment as a shortcut to avoid pain.

And here’s the hard truth: letting someone go doesn’t always feel like peace at first. Sometimes it feels like loss. Like grief. Like failure. But faith says: if God is asking you to release it, there’s purpose in the pruning. Not everything we want is meant to stay—and not everything that leaves is a loss.

A Helpful Tool — Not a Complete Framework

That said, I’m not throwing out the book. The Let Them Theory is helpful. It’s practical. And for those caught in emotionally draining relationships or cycles of codependency, it provides language they may not have had before. It can be the first step in a longer healing journey.

But it’s not a complete framework. Not for those of us who live under a higher authority. Not for those who believe in covenant, calling, and spiritual growth.

This book offers a starting point—but don’t stop there. Letting them go is only half the equation. The second half is letting God lead. That’s where real peace comes from—not just from boundaries, but from trust. From knowing that your value isn’t determined by who stays, who understands, or who approves.

It’s determined by the One who never leaves, never misunderstands, and already called you worthy.

Final Thoughts: Should You Read It?

Yes—but read it with discernment. Let Mel Robbins give you the push to stop controlling and over-functioning. But then take that momentum and bring it to the Cross. Ask God what needs to be released—and what still needs to be restored.

Because boundaries are wise, but surrender is holy.
And freedom doesn’t come just from letting them go—it comes from letting God have it all.