Every fear-driven behavior is a defense mechanism—a script we learned to survive. Somewhere along the way, you were handed a role: be the strong one, stay quiet, don’t trust too easily, keep your guard up. These scripts once served a purpose. They helped you avoid pain, stay safe, and stay in control. But what helped you survive is now keeping you from being fully alive. Eventually, you reach a crossroads: keep rehearsing the fear-based role, or surrender to a new story. And here’s the truth no one tells you—you cannot heal and self-protect at the same time. Healing always requires surrender. Real peace begins when fear no longer gets to hold the pen.
Many people assume fear is just a feeling. But in reality, it’s a response—often to something we’ve learned to believe, whether consciously or not. When we experience pain, betrayal, trauma, or abandonment, our minds and bodies look for ways to make sense of it. And fear steps in with a solution: stay alert, stay guarded, stay in control.
That fear-based mindset can start to shape how we view everything—our relationships, our responsibilities, even our understanding of God. It writes an internal script that says things like:
At first, these beliefs might feel protective. They help us avoid risk, minimize pain, and stay ahead of potential danger. But over time, they become more than just reactions—they become roles we play. And without even realizing it, we begin to live out a script that was written by fear.
That script often sounds wise or mature, but it’s rooted in something deeper: deception. Jesus said the enemy is the father of lies (John 8:44), and fear is one of the primary ways he distorts our thinking. He doesn’t need to control your actions if he can convince you to live from a lie.
And that’s exactly what fear does—it distorts the truth about God, about others, and about yourself.
So if you’ve been living under fear’s influence, the question isn’t just “How do I feel better?” The real question is:
“Who have I been listening to?”
Because there’s only one voice that leads to healing—and it’s not fear’s.
Surrender begins when you start paying attention to who’s been authoring your internal story. When you recognize that fear has been shaping your reactions, you can begin to turn toward the truth. You can begin to invite God—the only trustworthy Author—to rewrite what fear once dictated.
When you’ve been hurt, disappointed, or blindsided, it’s natural to want to protect yourself. Maybe you learned to pull back emotionally. Maybe you learned to manage people’s impressions of you. Maybe you just stopped letting anyone get too close. These patterns don’t come out of nowhere. They’re usually built over time, in response to pain.
But here’s the problem: what once felt like wisdom can become a spiritual stronghold.
You begin to believe that staying guarded is how you stay safe. That staying in control is how you avoid getting hurt again. That relying on yourself is more dependable than trusting God.
And while those strategies may have worked for a time, they can’t bring you peace.
Because peace doesn’t come from protecting yourself. It comes from trusting the One who already promised to protect you.
Self-protection is built on the assumption that no one else will show up for you—not people, and not God. It’s rooted in fear. But surrender is built on the truth that God already has—and that He is both faithful and present, even when life feels uncertain.
Scripture is clear:
“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7 AMP)
That means fear is not from God.
It’s not how He leads. It’s how the enemy manipulates.
And self-protection, while it may feel responsible, is usually just fear in disguise.
Surrender doesn’t mean becoming careless or passive. It doesn’t mean ignoring wisdom or boundaries. What it means is this: you stop letting fear call the shots. You stop building your life around what you’re trying to avoid, and start building it around the One who’s already gone before you.
It means you ask God to lead, even when you feel unsure.
It means you take relational risks, not because they’re guaranteed to work—but because your identity isn’t dependent on the outcome.
It means you recognize that being “in control” is an illusion—and that safety is found in God’s covering, not in your performance.
Healing requires openness. And that’s impossible when fear is still calling the shots.
If you’re still guarding your heart at all costs, you’ll struggle to experience deep connection or peace.
And if you’re still trying to protect yourself from pain, it’s very difficult to walk in the kind of freedom Jesus invites you into.
Following Christ means trusting Him with the parts of you that feel most vulnerable—even when it doesn’t feel safe.
At some point, you have to decide whose hands your safety is really in—yours or God’s.
Control often feels wise. It feels responsible, mature, even spiritual. You tell yourself, “I’m just being prepared” or “I just don’t want to get hurt again.” But underneath that control is often something deeper: fear.
When we’ve been hurt, abandoned, disappointed, or blindsided in the past, it makes sense that we would want to protect ourselves. In some seasons, it may have been necessary to survive. But the very strategies that once helped you cope can eventually become the very things that keep you stuck.
Living in control mode disconnects you from the present moment. You’re always scanning for danger, overthinking your decisions, trying to manage people’s perceptions, and bracing yourself for what might go wrong. It may feel like safety—but it’s actually stress. It slowly drains your peace, your joy, and your capacity for meaningful connection.
Here’s what control often costs you:
When you stay in control, you’re essentially saying, “I trust myself more than I trust God.”
It’s not usually something we say out loud—but it shows up in how we live.
God invites us into something better.
Not a life without boundaries or wisdom—but a life led by His Spirit instead of driven by fear.
A life where peace isn’t dependent on circumstances, and where safety doesn’t come from control—it comes from His covering.
The longer you try to control everything, the more you feel responsible for things that were never yours to carry. Eventually, even your spiritual life starts to feel like performance instead of relationship. But the moment you begin to surrender, something shifts. You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to see the full outcome. You just have to take the next step in trust.
Control may feel comfortable—but it will never bring you freedom.
Only surrender leads there.
Fear tells a convincing story, but it’s not the truth. The enemy wants you to stay stuck rehearsing old pain—trapped in roles you never chose, defined by experiences you never asked for. But the gospel offers something radically different: a new identity, a new story, and a new Author.
Surrender begins with recognizing who’s been writing your internal script. Has fear been dictating your decisions? Has shame been shaping your relationships? Have you been living more from self-protection than from the Spirit?
Letting God rewrite the script means handing Him the pen. It means choosing to stop managing every outcome, and instead, learning how to trust His heart—even when you don’t understand His timing. It means releasing the urge to fix, control, or avoid—and asking the Holy Spirit to form something deeper within you: dependence.
You don’t need more control—you need more trust.
But trust isn’t a vague feeling. It’s a practical posture. Here’s what it looks like:
This is what Scripture means when it says, “Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5 AMP)
When fear says, “You’re on your own,”
God says, “I’m right here—and I know what you need.”
When fear says, “Stay guarded or you’ll get hurt,”
God says, “Let me be your refuge.”
Letting God rewrite your story won’t always feel safe—but it will always lead to freedom. Because He’s not asking you to fake strength. He’s asking you to come home to the truth.
Let go of fear’s narrative.
Invite the Author of life to begin something new.
You can’t live in freedom while following fear’s script—healing begins when you surrender control and let God rewrite the story.
What this means:
The need to control, to stay guarded, to keep your distance—it may have helped you navigate past pain, but it can’t carry you into healing. God is not asking you to ignore your fear. He’s asking you to bring it to Him. To stop letting it lead your decisions. To stop letting it define your relationships. To stop letting it shape who you are.
He already knows the parts of your story you’re afraid to face. He knows the moments that hurt, the betrayals that cut deep, and the lies that have echoed in your head for years. And still—He’s not intimidated by any of it. He’s ready to walk with you through it.
The enemy will keep offering you the same old role: protect yourself, stay in control, stay small.
But Jesus offers you something better: freedom, truth, and a new identity rooted in love.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t need to feel strong.
You just need to take one step: lay down the pen, and let God begin to rewrite the story.
As you continue learning to surrender, return to these verses often. Let truth be louder than fear.
Isaiah 41:10 AMP
“Do not fear [anything], for I am with you;
Do not be afraid, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, be assured I will help you;
I will certainly take hold of you with My righteous right hand [a hand of justice, of power, of victory, of salvation].”
Psalm 56:3–4 AMP
“When I am afraid,
I will put my trust and faith in You.
In God, whose word I praise;
In God I have put my trust;
I shall not fear. What can mere man do to me?”
Psalm 32:7–8 AMP
“You are my hiding place;
You, Lord, protect me from trouble;
You surround me with songs and shouts of deliverance.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you [who are willing to learn] with My eye upon you.”
John 10:27–28 AMP
“The sheep that are My own hear My voice and listen to Me;
I know them, and they follow Me.
And I give them eternal life, and they will never [ever] by any means perish;
and no one will ever snatch them out of My hand.”
Romans 8:15 AMP
“For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading again to fear [of God’s judgment],
but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons [the Spirit producing sonship]
by which we [joyfully] cry, ‘Abba! Father!’”
1 John 4:18 AMP
“There is no fear in love [dread does not exist].
But perfect (complete, full-grown) love drives out fear,
because fear involves [the expectation of divine] punishment,
so the one who is afraid [of God’s judgment] is not perfected in love [has not grown into a sufficient understanding of God’s love].”
Exodus 14:14 AMP
“The Lord will fight for you while you [only need to] keep silent and remain calm.”
“Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart And do not rely on your own insight or understanding.”
Practice Name: Open Hands, Quiet Heart
Purpose: This breath practice is designed to help you physically release the tension of self-protection and open your body, mind, and spirit to the posture of surrender.
Instructions:
Posture: Sit upright in a grounded position, feet flat, hands resting on your thighs palms up. This symbolizes openness and receptivity.
Breathing Pattern:
Inhale for 4 seconds through the nose (“I receive…”)
Hold for 4 seconds (“Your peace…”)
Exhale for 6–8 seconds through the mouth (“I release the script of fear.”)
Repeat for 3–5 minutes.
Visual Cue:
As you breathe, picture yourself holding a tight rope in both hands — the rope represents your fear, your control, your self-protection. With each exhale, gently loosen your grip… until you finally let go.
Anchor Phrase (repeat silently or aloud):
“I am safe to surrender. God writes a better story.”
Father, I’ve spent so long trying to protect myself—
guarding my heart, managing my image, controlling every outcome.
But fear has written a script I no longer want to follow.
Today, I choose surrender.
Not because I feel ready—but because I trust that You are.
You are my shield and my story. You are my safe place and my guide.
Help me release the need to control what’s never been mine to carry.
Quiet the lies, soften my grip, and remind me that I don’t have to write the ending.
Jesus, You are the Author and Perfecter of my faith.
Write something new in me.
Amen.
Taking time to reflect is one of the most powerful tools for spiritual growth and self-awareness. These journal prompts are designed to help you pause, process, and partner with God in the places He’s refining you. Don’t rush the answers—let the Holy Spirit guide your thoughts. As you write, ask God to reveal what’s beneath the surface and align your heart more fully with His truth and design.
If you’ve ever felt paralyzed by overthinking, trapped in cycles of control, or hesitant to trust—there’s likely a deeper fear driving the pattern. The From Fear to Freedom Series was created to help you uncover how fear shapes your thoughts, sabotages your relationships, and distorts your view of God.
Each post in this series explores one specific fear—from abandonment and control to vulnerability and disappointment—blending clinical insight with biblical truth. You’ll learn how fear gets wired into your body, how to recognize it in real time, and how to begin rewiring your responses through truth, love, and surrender.
You don’t have to keep living braced for impact.
You were made to walk secure, surrendered, and free.
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Download the Companion PDF for Rewriting The Script that includes additional resources.
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Disabled combat veteran turned Kingdom builder. I write to equip others with truth, strategy, and the fire to live boldly for Christ. Every battle has a purpose. Every word here is for the ones who refuse to stay shallow.
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This blog and podcast are a reflection of my journey as a follower of Christ, a disabled combat veteran, and a lifelong seeker of personal growth, faith, and resilience. Through radical honesty and authentic conversations, I share my struggles, victories, and lessons learned in overcoming fear, trust issues, and self-doubt. My mission is to inspire, encourage, and empower others to live with faith, purpose, and intention—embracing challenges, breaking strongholds, and pursuing the life God has called us to live.